The stages of a relationship are probably not what you're thinking about when you start dating someone. At that point you're just getting to know the person. You might not even know if you'll have a second date. So the stages of a relationship are probably the last thing on your mind.
But understanding these stages can help once you move beyond those first few dates and decide to spend more time with this one person. By recognizing the stages of a relationship, you can better see where you've been and where you've going. And you can learn what might be expected of you next.
The first stage of a relationship is the one that many people keep trying to recapture. This is known as the honeymoon stage. It's the reason some people can't seem to stay in a relationship. They keep moving from one person to another trying to get back to that initial stage.
That's because this first honeymoon stage is very exciting. When you discover someone new you want to be with, it's fun and adventurous learning about them. You're just learning what each other likes sexually, emotionally and in other ways.
This exciting stage where it seems your partner can do no wrong can last for a brief time, or even a year or more. A lot depends on how quickly you learn about each other and how long you find the other person still exciting.
Then you move on to the stage where a power struggle takes place between you and your partner. Here, you've moved beyond the honeymoon stage and each person seems to strive for control of the relationship. This is the stage where new and promising relationships can fall apart.
The power struggle usually starts somewhere between six months and a year into the relationship. Though, if the honey moon period lasts a long time, this stage will start just as soon as that ends. Here is where the things that you might have thought were cute in the beginning may start to annoy you.
This is also the stage where often one person tries to change the other to meet some ideal. Recognizing each other's flaws and accepting them are the trick to getting through this stage.
That will lead you to the understanding stage, where you learn about each other with an eye toward acceptance. You've made it through the power struggle and stopped trying to change each other. At this stage, you decide whether you can accept each other as is, or if you should move on.
Break-ups now are usually friendlier than during any of the other stages of a relationship. That's because the power struggle is over and you're both just deciding if you're with the right person.
The last stage is commitment. You've decided to understand each other's differences, and to accept each other for you who are. The stages of a relationship end here, but some couples tend to revisit the power struggle throughout the relationship and have to come to acceptance over and over again.
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