When a relationship ends, you'll get relationship break up advice from many different sources. Friends and family will be some of the first to rush at you with advice. Even people you don't know well, when they find out about the break up, will try to give you advice. And you can find tons of relationship break up advice in books, magazines and online.
The problem with this advice is that it's given as if one size fits all. Particularly when it's in the form a quiz, it's as if you should just do these specific things and it will fix the relationship. But this is far from the truth.
Relationship break up advice is only as good as the person giving it. How much do your friends and family know about your relationship? Are they qualified to give counseling or advice? Does that Internet site just want to sell you something?
Women's magazines are full of quizzes and advice about relationships and break ups. It might do both men and women some good to read them, if only to see how not to approach a breakup.
The best advice you can get is based on you and your ex. Unfortunately, most people only really know one of you well. Your friends are going to give you advice based on what they know about you. And your ex' friends will give advice based on that person.
If someone knows both of you equally well, there's still a change the advice you get won't be that helpful. That's because that person might have a bias. They might like you or your ex better. Or they might have a reason they want you to stay apart.
Some of the best relationship break up advice you can get is from an impartial source, like a counselor. A relationship counselor doesn't know either of you, that much is true. So you might wonder how a counselor could possibly offer good advice.
A counselor can offer advice about getting back together because there are some universal things that apply. If you broke up because of a single fight, then it's clear that you both might have let the heat of the moment get to you.
Talking to a counselor about your situation could also reveal that there are underlying problems. Maybe the fight was just the excuse to end the relationship that had been suffering for other reasons. That's something that your friends and family might not know about. You're more likely to discuss this with an impartial stranger.
If an infidelity was the cause of the break up, then the reasons for the infidelity will be of interest to the counselor. Did one of you feel the other had cheated and you were getting revenge? Or does one person not feel like the other meets their needs?
If you're serious about getting back together, try a counselor or some impartial third person with some sort of counseling experience. A counselor can offer more sound relationship break up advice than family or friends.
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