Convincing a spouse to save a relationship can be difficult, especially if they have already given up on the marriage. I said it was difficult, not that it can’t be done. Remember that people get back together every day and that one of the parties had already decided to leave. So, convincing a spouse to save a relationship can be done.
Remember that ending a marriage is a major life decision. Chances are, your husband or wife did not decide overnight to serve you with divorce papers. Instead, they have planned it all out. They’ve thought through the financial ramifications, where they’ll live, and how it will affect the children. Even if the divorce has taken you by surprise, your partner has been planning this for quite a while.
That presents you with a challenge. You have to overcome the resistance of his or her planning. You have to make your spouse see that the relationship still has some life in it. You also have to make him or her aware that you are willing to grow and change. You are willing to meet your partners needs in a way that you didn’t understand before.
Convincing a spouse to save a relationship starts with both parties stepping away from the daily problems of the marriage. Minor problems like leaving the cap off of the toothpaste can blow up into major fights while major issues such as a lack of intimacy can go untouched.
Try to get the conversation onto the important issues and leave the trivial ones behind.
If your spouse will agree, take a vacation together. Whether it is a 10 day Panama Canal cruise or an overnight trip to a rustic cabin in a local state park, getting out of the house will do you some good. Going on an “adventure” and getting out of the routine or “comfort zone” of the house can often help you address the issues that have sprung up in your marriage.
Convincing a spouse to save a relationship can also involve taking a trip down memory lane. Take a trip back in time. Get out the wedding photos and talk about the hopes and dreams you had for the relationship. Talk about what got in the way of fulfilling those dreams. And, find a way to get back on track if possible.
Convincing a spouse to save a relationship is no easy task. If you want the relationship to continue when your partner is ready to call it quits, you are going to have to work harder than them to save it. That may mean that you need to be more willing to compromise, more willing to make changes in your own life, and more willing to take on the hard work in the relationship and in your lives.
Is it worth it? Only you can answer that. But if your partner has thrown in the towel, it is now up to you to go about convincing a spouse to save a relationship.
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